It’s funny seeing how unmarried sisters/newly married sisters talk about marriage, especially after being married for a year + now. It’s mostly funny because I used to think the same way, that marriage is everything great and wonderful and such a fantastic way to escape my old life and old self. How I couldn’t wait to get married, and finally do things my way. How I couldn’t wait to just have fun and have a “perfect” life filled with love and cuddles and all the perfect things in the world.
I think I held on to the same ideas probably until I got pregnant. That’s when I started to realized that, oh okay now I see what my mom [and every other women that’s been married for quite a while now] is talking about. That’s when I started to back it up a little bit and realize that it’s so much harder than I ever imagined.
Believe me, it’s not easy. There are so many things you don’t see at first [particularly if you don’t know the guy all that well & you just know what the people know/say about him] and when you see them, it makes you realize why it’s such a sacred bond to Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala and what makes marriage so special and sometimes, difficult.
Now, I don’t want to be negative Nancy here, because there are MANY good things that come with marriage. But I don’t like to see sisters disappoint themselves with mushy love quotes and all that fairy tale Disney stuff, because that’s anything but real life. Among the good things about marriage is that you can change yourself for the better, and you can even help your spouse do the same. You can bring comfort and joy in your husband’s life if he can just come home to a clean house and a warm meal. You can make life easier for one another, and help each other out. Among the good things about marriage is that, if you are both sincere, and you love each other for the sake of Allaah, the love will always be there, forever, no matter how many hurricanes and tsunamis come your way.